– Letter # 4, written this year by Kelsi, assisted by Nick
Well, we are ALL in a season, aren’t we? In a year with only 4 seasons, we’ve certainly been through what feels like … dare I say… 10-fold that! When February turned into August, I knew time was up to its dirty tricks again..
Despite Nick’s loving efforts to assist our family in slowing down intentionally this season, somehow I managed to do it again: I way overcommitted us, fell to temptations and cluttered our house with what influencers told me I should buy for our kid, frantically worried that we weren’t injecting ENOUGH magic in to every free moment we’ve had, and still feeling the guilt of always wanting to do more for everyone I care about. All while getting gentle reminders from my people closest to me: don’t stress over anything, and keep the Reason for the Season.
This year we almost didn’t even send out our beloved Christmas cards, simply because we felt this enormous pressure that we needed to start saying ‘no’ to something. Nick and I both whispered we are glad we didn’t let this tradition die,… but, also, you wouldn’t believe how our decision-making has been warped for efficiency these days. We used to spend countless hours – picking out the matching outfits, prepping to either meet a photographer or try to do our own poses, then squandering hours selecting just the “right” background and embellishments, only to realize we had an oversight for needing to update everyone’s addresses – just to give it all a certain “look” and produce a reflective piece of us. Well, this year you are holding in your hand the fastest-on-record card we have ever managed to design and order in the history of our little Peay family. We high-fived each other for this. But in our hurry, the very reason we even want to send these cards with a little message to each of you, escaped us in time’s passage. Many of you have probably already scanned the QR code when it first arrived, only to be met with “Sorry, we’re behind. Try again later,” like so many online shopping sites and retailers. I kept putting this off.
Somehow our Christmas countdown went from 20 days ’til Christmas… to 7 (!) in the blink of an eye. I could feel myself shrinking down in my seat this morning while our pastor commanded the congregation in all its busyness to “Stop it.” What a necessary call to inaction.
Inaction tends to send us into a panic these days. There is so much noise around us – screens, schedules, and “should’s” staring at us daily. But we are all worthy of rest and enjoyment and holding on to whatever it is we are wishing for more of. I’ve asked many variations of this question in my adulthood, but moreso as a mother now: “What would it take to actually get time to slow down?” I think I speak for the collective motherhood when I say we all secretly wish this was our superpower; we could all chant in unison: time is a thief.
But I realized I’ve been asking the wrong question… If there is truly a time for everything, it must be a particular thing I am asking for more of. For me, it’s the wonder that I miss. Or rather, …the TIME to wonder. It is perhaps one of the reasons I relish in writing an annual Christmas Letter; it forces my own Saint Nick and myself to sit and reflect on our year and all that we actually wondered at in the moment… and then get to wonder at it a second time around while writing this.
While most of that is delightful and sweet and tender, there was still our share of challenge or hardship. The most stressful times were still a wonder to behold. The carbon monoxide detectors failing in our home at the worst possible time led to a little boy’s childhood dream of a firefighter coming to his house! After Nick’s employer enforced several rounds of layoffs and made headlines in the news, he wondrously and thankfully still has maintained his position. It’s hard to feel stuck in any moment when we are gifted the ability to wonder.
Wonder in moments like witnessing your son’s first taste of cotton candy. Wonder in experiencing our first horse race. Wonder in seeing a sunrise over a mountain range at 2800 ft elevation, AND wonder in asking how we even made it up after our rocky climb. Wonder in Henry flying a kite – or catching a fish – for the first time. Wonder in being present for a grandparent turning 100 years young. Wonder in growing your first ever dahlia. And my personal favorite that ended up in ornament form this year: a first carousel ride for Henry. It was PURE WONDER seeing him look up at the lights, chasing the animals that went ’round with every turn, up and down.
Is it any wonder that THAT may be the point of it all? That God wants us to wonder at His light, amidst all the “everything,” the times of up and down, whatever season you are in? As we’ve taken the time to slow down and be reflective of the birth of our Savior, I have been so curious about why so little was actually written in the Bible about the most wondrous event of all time. But perhaps that is God’s more subtle gift to us: to find that we have to prioritize it – to make the choice to look up when we are already on that proverbial carousel ride – to stand in awe at the wonder for how it all happened. When we make the time, that is the gift of what so many of us want more of.
Wishing you all MORE time to wonder this season and every season.
Here is a collection of WONDERous moments from our year to share:
Ps. We would love to hear about your wondrous moments… so put our comment section to good use if you find the time 😉